27th May 2010

The weather's freaking hot. But i realised that recently, i've been feeling ice cold inside. I hope that when i sing, i can feel warmth again. Bit by bit, the small bits connecting us together are disappearing. And things are changing. I'm not hurt, i sort of just wonder what's wrong. I'm just hoping it blows off. I sure hope it does.

I applied for DSA to VJC, that's it, fate sealed... haha And i wonder, how will i feel if i get accepted? Hahahahaha

22nd May 2010

Needed to crap sth out. Chinese O levels is in 8 days... oh the joy! I think i'm gonna TRY for A1... honestly its so hard. But after yesterday, i'm want to try to prove to that stupid woman that i DO NOT need her to get my A1. Honestly, i don't care whether she forgot or what. Even my Amaths tuition teacher can teach me chinese! Haha so cool. Anyway i'm gonna work hard. Actually i'm supposed to do my MCQ for chinese... Hahaha
Damn no motivation... sucky. Dun wanna see that mean person tmr.... =(

14th May 2010

Why do you have to to compare everything? Must be always be the best? Is 'trying your best' never enough anymore? Now everything is about competition. But honestly, i don't want to care about what you're saying. What cherries, what crap, I don't want to care. I just want to do my best. Keep being disappointed decay, shed your hair, become older for all i care. You're never influencing me.
Chinese O levels is in 18 days. Wahhh my target is A2. If i can reach my target or higher, i'll thank the Gods. If i don't at least i know i tried my best. Must not think in English when i do chinese... Wahhh. I gotta work hard!!! Just like DBSK. if they can learn Jap, i can do well for chinese too ^^

PS until now i can't put a chatbox up -.-

10th May 2010

What's life without company? Perhaps it was my own misfortune to end up the way i am now. Perhaps ignorance is bliss? Ignoring that fact that i lack something i really really want in my life? But honestly, i find it really hard to do it, especially when the fact gets shoved into my face every damn day. Its so hard, to fight on everyday, it honestly feels like you're trying to swim in tar or sth. Its suffocating...
I want it to end, all this pain but so far everyday it feels like more and more water is being poured over my head, and i get colder and colder with each passing minute. I'm almost numb -.-

All the tests today were screwed. Simple as that. I've lost my steam, whether its to fight on or to excel in exams. I just want it to pass. NOW

6th May 2010

I'm supposed to be studying for bio now.. but i'm so tired out from exams and stuff
Junsu's new MV was... i don't know. Extremely suggestive, i honestly don't like it. "What happened to my cute dolphin!" -> i absolutely agree.
I miss dbsk and my happier self. Its getting harder and hard to summon her back. I can tell my friends my problems, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they'll understand it. After all not everyone goes through the same thing. i can only hope that they'll try to understand. Yet they go thru their own problems so sometimes its hard to start the topic. There's abt a week of exams left.
I want to go to school with Evan and Zm on Friday! And have lunch too. I miss the good ole' days.
I'll keep trying my best. I hope i can look back at 2009 and 2010 and say, i've gain something from all these painful times.