9th October 2010

Yesterday was the graduation ceremony for the 2010 batch of students. A great sense of nostalgia, sadness and happiness mixed in together. Nostalgia to have to part like that; 4 years which seemed to long and endless when i was in secondary 1, I had walked through with it. And yesterday i finished, together with so many other people, that phrase of our lives. In Primary school, i wouldn't have thought twice about it. My Primary school meant nothing to me, i didn't mind drifting apart from my best friends then.

4 years ago i walked in, bearing thoughts of meeting various people, and finding friends for life. I sat in a seat at the back of the class, little did i know, next to a girl who is now one of my best friends. I met the most eccentric, the most amusing, the best people to be with, the most irritating ones... D.I.S.C type personalities, Crescent holds them all. (Teachers included)

I've felt the pain of parting, the happiness of reunion. I've found passion for the things i do, and developed my own character with courage i've gained from my friends and family. I'm sure everyone did, although their motive when they entered the school might be somewhat different from mine.

I didn't cry yesterday. But today, everything seems to be suddenly rushing back again. I always have slow reactions. Whether it was when Ms Tham left or when i left the school. Thank you, everyone who played a part in my life, for everything.

My only regret, is that i may end up hating one of my other best friends before i leave. I get this feelings that she's doing particular things on purpose. I cannot forget things that you have done for me, but in the least, let us part (even a little) as friends. But i doubt she'll read this. After all, she's hinting that i'm boring.

1st October 2010

I just want to rant today. I'm suffering from a severe lack of sleep (i think all the sec 4s are) and i'm having a headache now. I just found out from Evan that JYJ is coming to Singapore on 16 October. And i thought that it was alr after my holidays. I also realised, just a few seconds ago, that my Calendar was stil on the September page. My daily sore throat is really starting to bother me. I think it's probably time i stop daily computer usage...

Conclusion: Homework and school is officially draining me.

*Edit: Not holidays, O levels.

4th September 2010

It's September.. halfway through prelims, the holidays have started too. Doesn't feel that way, but i'll enjoy it to the fullest since it's alr here. I'm going to Taiwan after the O levels. Its mostly confirmed already... I just hope i dun get food poisoning again. Things are so uncertain now. At least i can finally enjoy myself in school, better late than never. Except for the constant pressure to study that the teachers put on us. I'm looking forward to the end of school!

I wonder when it comes to friendship and love, who is responsible to maintain it. I think it belongs to both parties to be willing to share and accept each other. When one makes the decision to turn his back on it, it won't be surprising if it collapses. I came to crescent with the hope to make great friends and meet people. I've met some really eccentric people, others are really fun to be with.. People who i can make lame jokes with, be sarcastic with.. I'll really miss these people when i leave Crescent. So no matter how horrible the school experience has become as i grew older, at least i know i can walk away with something.

I've become addicted to tea; any type of tea on earth. Milk tea, lemon tea.. lala i love tea. Hahaha Okay that was random.. Prelims has been tiring. I may be numb to the fact that i'm taking exams but that doesn't mean that it doesn't tire me out. Sitting in that hall, in the same chair for hours on end, staring at the piece of paper that you desperately need to complete and excel in... despite it being a cold room, doesn't bode well for my physical and mental health. So i'm going baking after Os! Anyone wants to join me?! Or dance classes? Jap? Guitar?(that was rhethorical question. But you can answer it if you want. HAHAHA)

16th August 2010

Oral today. I was quite freaked out at first. But the examiners were really nice. They even nodded when i was reading XDDD They laughed when i was answering the first question. The one about a time when i was late. Then i was like... blab blah, then my dad's car broke down. Then they laughed. Hehehe talked bad behind my dad. Muahahah. It was almost like a decent conversation. But here's the thought, i might not have developed my points very well =( I hope i did okay. I was just aiming for an A2.
I have 3 tests/time trails (Me: is there a lrq test tmr? Ms Li: Not test lar! Time trial! -.-)tmr. Suck. And i'm drained, with no mood to study at all. All i want to do is sleep. But then i still need to do homework -.- At least got 2 hours of time to study tmr =DD

6th August 2010

I'm getting lazier to post. Haha I was really quite happy this week. Although I just saw something i didn't want to.... Oh wells. In general this week was quite fun. My class is a great class. But.... i really don't like the way some things are done. Somehow this thought has become fixed to my mind: I don't ever want to go to the "best" class ever again. Neither do i want to be the top. At least now i can say that i'm happier. At least there's something there you know. Better than nothing right? And there's this certain fear that i'll lose them; it really feels that way alr.

Anyway, on to the nicer stuff. NDP celebrations was better, compared to the other recent 'concerts' held by the school. except for the disastrous Reach Out For the Sky. There were really fun times this week. And I was glad that i could still feel happy for a longer period of time. Because recently my feelings are really on a roller-coaster ride. We ended of the week nicely by recording our class dance. Dunno what they're planning to do with it thou.

And i went to watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Really nice show full of humour and amazing effects! No regrets this time ^^

{I'm such a failure}

23rd July 2010

I'm so tired! Mass Dance has officially ended! It was more tiring than i expected. Everyone was looking at our form teacher during the demo thou. Hahaha do fun, although i wasn't the once who made him do it. Heehee~ This week was tiring. There was listening compre, amongst other tests. I would be quite high at school, and now that its finally the end of the week, i am so tired. I almost fell asleep at 5 just now. Haha

At least episode 15 of WGM came out. (see Evan! i spelt it correctly this time!) And they had to end at the part before they took the driving test! I was Seohyun to win. Hahaha XD

SS test today was horrible. Did it wrongly again -.- i hope i won't end up failing Ss prelims -.- That would be bad. Oh well, I'll work hard at it. Shows that i seriously suck at SS.

I've fallen in love with dancing recently. I find it fun. Sometimes its tires me out but its also a form of exercise. Haha So fun.

15th July 2010

I am fuming about a certain someone's mood swings now. I won't be surprised if she's wallowing in self pity lately. If you're not gonna help yourself, no one's gonna help you.

It took me by surprise today, when someone expressed concern for me. After a year and a half of suffering by myself, i guess it was kinda shocking. But I'm glad. Its a good change. Perhaps that really hard period of time has gone by. I'll still keep doing my best, and i know there'll be ppl there for me.

I have fallen on love with WDG, Yongseo!!!!!!! They're so cute together~ i especially like that the both of them write letters to each other. The photo diary was really cute! And also that the theme of their house is Avatar. Haha Ahh i finished 3 episodes in a day. OMG. I'm gonna put the blame on Evan for giving me so many episodes at once. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA Jkjkjk XD

7th July 2010

2nd week of school. And i thought Youth Day celebrations were gonna be spectacular... My hopes fell flat. Anyways, at least some teachers tried. (note the use of the word, TRIED) Better than nothing! =)

I was suddenly hit with some weird feeling in the gut -.- School is long and tiring. I can't seem to get back into the mood. I screwed up my oral the other day. And ended up crying -.- But its over, not like i would like to take it again. Chinese is gonna be over soon. it ends on 20th July. I hope i pass...

Winny joined Crez Awards... haha she has a nice voice =) I doubt that i'll go thou. No one seems to want to go.

This term... maybe i'm fitting in. But it doesn't mean that its easier. I'm gonna work on my stupid humanities. I seem to be de-proving with each Geog time trial! So failure! hahaha

30th June 2010

I am posting... to delay from studying oral. Which involved turning off my computer, taking out all the oral stuff and reading them (mentally or out loud). This kinda means that i'll be talking to myself. =.= Oh well, O level oral is tmr. And I am FREAKED OUT. Omg. If i freeze tmr, i think i might cry after that =( Well, i pray to Provenance, I just dun wanna get too unlucky tmr. I need all the self-confidence and smiles i can get XD

Somehow, everything i like, i seem to considering to let it become part of my future... But its so hard to decide on one thing =( Mythbusters look cool, and i'm not bad at science. I dunno why i find genetics fascination, yet i can't seem to understand what the stupid terms are saying. I guess i dun mind dancing? Compared to most people?

My class has a taste for songs which continuously ring in a person's head after hearing it. It gets quite irritating. Especially when there's only 2 sentences of the song stuck in your head!; you only hear those same words -.-

23rd June 2010

Holiday's just about gone. So sad. at least there was once a time, when i could wake up late without a care in the world. I'm absolutely dreading school reopening. Test every week? No way is that something to look forward to. Its raining cats and dogs now. One of the heaviest storms we've had in a while. Zm's still stuck at Lot 1 cos of flooding somewhere. I'm quite proud of myself cos i managed to return home in the heavy rain without getting my umbrella wet! haha By taking the bus. It never occurred to anyone in my family before! And we've been living in Yew Tee for almost 7 years -.- hahahaha

I've been addicted to shows, regardless of whether they're on the computer or the TV. There's this nice HK drama about food, i know there's the word phoenix in the title, and Charmine Sheh(sp) is in it. I like the chrysanthemum cakes or sth like that. It looks really delicious. There's Glee tonight! =D I'm not that mad about it, but i really love the songs XD Mythbusters was cool too. I ended up wanting to ask my dad to subscribe to cable again. Too bad, i know he'll never do it. There's also We Got Married, YongSeo are so cute! haha Yonghwa is tall! I get easily jealous of tall ppl. And those we are so musically talented too! (Seohyun learnt a song in a month. 1 MONTH!!) There's Inuyasha =))) Cuteee~ Kagome is so forgiving

I can't believe that my parents are actually considering bringing me to NY =0 that would be so cool thou. I may even see snow; that is, if we're going. Anyway i learnt not to expect too much.

15th June 2010

I get the feeling that i'm falling sick... I think its probably from all my thinking over the last few days. Today is also the 2nd day of the Oral course at my chinese tuition... I just feel damn sleepy when i go there. And my throat has been hurting from this morning, and i'm supposed to be going for a READING course! Ha! I laugh!

I wonder if anyone believes in fate or destiny? I feel so resigned now. I doubt i will ever see her again, even if i make myself sad thinking about it. I miss singing. And Its been so long. I dun think she remembers me at all.

I saw a video with Junsu and Jaejoong singing with such amazing, strong voices, although not a single word makes sense -.- {they're koreans singing english, so i guess that's pretty normal} I look and them, and i think about myself. Being scared to approach someone who i had so much fun with; not singing for almost 2 months already (and missing it dreadfully). Such a voice will be unattainable. (sp?)

I'm going to buy a DVD for $80 hahaha and my sister is pay half! MUAHAHA it'll probably be DBSK's last concert together. I wish them all the best for their future. I hope they'll still remain friends. Maybe, just maybe, they'll perform together again in some reunion concert.

12th May 2010

Woah... Its been 8 days. Haha So much for wanting to finish my homework by the end of this week... Its VJC DSA Choir auditions today... I'm actually quite glad that i didn't apply in. Totally forgot that my parents are going away for a holiday. HAHAHA. Hopefully i can get more work done next week, when i'm out of the house. Having this TPC in front of me isn't always a good thing. Next week, i gotta force myself to start using chinese as a "communication tool" again. Geez Oh well, i look forward to the end of it.

I'm starting to like CNBlue now.. haha Even my sister's addicted. I have too many videos i can watch.. catch me now, I'm 5 episodes to the end (sorry Anna XD).. Inuyasha, WGM (I think Seohyun needs an opinion). At least i'm not my sister, everyday stare stupidly at the computer. Hehe

5th June 2010

I'm not gonna complain. Its does me no good. I'm supposed to be doing work right now.. instead i'm watching videos Evan sent me. I think the korean pop is starting to get to me again. oh wells, its fun to have someone to talk to =) Lee Joon from MBLAQ is so cute! Koreans are amazing dancers.. and body builders as well (heehee). Honestly, you don't see a Singapore star showing off his abs in the show. My country's entertainment industry doesn't interest me..

I'm thinking of going back... 2 years back actually. And going to find a certain someone who gave me the courage to sing. I've never contacted her for 2 years and i feel quite guilty about that. Does she still remember me? I want to sing for her. Perhaps it was a coincidence that, when she came into my life, i made a promise to myself to change. She was one of those who unknowingly supported me. I tell myself, wait until after O levels... but will i do it?

2nd June 2010

I'm listening to DBSK's accapellas... instead of doing bio..I love bio. I want to study it but i'm not sure this is what i want to do in the future.

I'm surprised at myself. Can't decide whether i'm sad or happy. If we succeed at something, does that mean we fail at something else? There was a phrase that goes, "make new friends and keep the old". Looks like i'm so bad, i cant even do that. Ha!

27th May 2010

The weather's freaking hot. But i realised that recently, i've been feeling ice cold inside. I hope that when i sing, i can feel warmth again. Bit by bit, the small bits connecting us together are disappearing. And things are changing. I'm not hurt, i sort of just wonder what's wrong. I'm just hoping it blows off. I sure hope it does.

I applied for DSA to VJC, that's it, fate sealed... haha And i wonder, how will i feel if i get accepted? Hahahahaha

22nd May 2010

Needed to crap sth out. Chinese O levels is in 8 days... oh the joy! I think i'm gonna TRY for A1... honestly its so hard. But after yesterday, i'm want to try to prove to that stupid woman that i DO NOT need her to get my A1. Honestly, i don't care whether she forgot or what. Even my Amaths tuition teacher can teach me chinese! Haha so cool. Anyway i'm gonna work hard. Actually i'm supposed to do my MCQ for chinese... Hahaha
Damn no motivation... sucky. Dun wanna see that mean person tmr.... =(

14th May 2010

Why do you have to to compare everything? Must be always be the best? Is 'trying your best' never enough anymore? Now everything is about competition. But honestly, i don't want to care about what you're saying. What cherries, what crap, I don't want to care. I just want to do my best. Keep being disappointed decay, shed your hair, become older for all i care. You're never influencing me.
Chinese O levels is in 18 days. Wahhh my target is A2. If i can reach my target or higher, i'll thank the Gods. If i don't at least i know i tried my best. Must not think in English when i do chinese... Wahhh. I gotta work hard!!! Just like DBSK. if they can learn Jap, i can do well for chinese too ^^

PS until now i can't put a chatbox up -.-

10th May 2010

What's life without company? Perhaps it was my own misfortune to end up the way i am now. Perhaps ignorance is bliss? Ignoring that fact that i lack something i really really want in my life? But honestly, i find it really hard to do it, especially when the fact gets shoved into my face every damn day. Its so hard, to fight on everyday, it honestly feels like you're trying to swim in tar or sth. Its suffocating...
I want it to end, all this pain but so far everyday it feels like more and more water is being poured over my head, and i get colder and colder with each passing minute. I'm almost numb -.-

All the tests today were screwed. Simple as that. I've lost my steam, whether its to fight on or to excel in exams. I just want it to pass. NOW

6th May 2010

I'm supposed to be studying for bio now.. but i'm so tired out from exams and stuff
Junsu's new MV was... i don't know. Extremely suggestive, i honestly don't like it. "What happened to my cute dolphin!" -> i absolutely agree.
I miss dbsk and my happier self. Its getting harder and hard to summon her back. I can tell my friends my problems, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they'll understand it. After all not everyone goes through the same thing. i can only hope that they'll try to understand. Yet they go thru their own problems so sometimes its hard to start the topic. There's abt a week of exams left.
I want to go to school with Evan and Zm on Friday! And have lunch too. I miss the good ole' days.
I'll keep trying my best. I hope i can look back at 2009 and 2010 and say, i've gain something from all these painful times.