20th March 2011

Term 2 is gonna start like... in 3 hours. HAHAHA Oh well, i'll bet it'll be tiring, but i hope it'll be fun at the same time =)) Anyway i'm supposed to be reading this GP thingy about education... but i'm kinda like procrastinating now cos, its so freaking cheem O.o Seriously.. haha I wanted to talk abt choir.. Okay so we like got scolded on Thursday's practice.. cos we weren't going at a pace that was fast enough. It brought my mood like all the way down into the mud -.- Seriously, and my past choir could even get away with working on one meager song for 5 hours.. No use comparing thou, cos i just got to experience the choir at like.. its best? And OMG even i was wowed. No wonder they won't compromise on standards.. especially when it can do this well. XD

Saturday was so cool!! =D Every time i think about it i get super exhilarated. We sat in mixed positions (and i thought we would never do that XD) and i could hear the bass part beside me and another tenor behind. The surround effect was super nice! XD not like last time we tried with my secondary school choir and i could only hear the loud seniors. Here, its amazing how everyone sings loudly, and contributes. Usually when instructed, there will be a change in sound, no matter how little. Its great here =) The only problem is finding people to talk to. Sigh =( I dunno... can't really talk to them, and we're not allowed to talk during rehearsals... maybe it just me making excuses.. i dunno. I can only hope that it becomes better.
Apart from that.. i'm quite contented. The syf period is looming over the horizon... hours of choir practice, homework, CA tests... they all about to come rushing at us. I can only pray that we have the perseverance to fight through all of it and emerge victorious in the end =D

27th February 2011

Heyyy~ I been posting more lately. I dunno. Haha i'm quite contented with life. I wonder why some people seem so depressed lately. Everyone has their own definition of 'happiness' - because we all want something from life. It changes all the time, changing according to our preferences, our 'greed' for certain things... Perhaps their life just doesn't hit the standard they want.

There was one decision, i'd made quite long ago, a decision that i still regret even now. Why did i choose to go to one side of the fence? Why did i throw away the other, labelling it as 'someone i wasn't as close to'? Why couldn't i have just sat on the fence - simple, because it was easier to stand on solid ground compared to sitting on such a narrow fence. At first i thought she'd already forgotten about it, to a certain extent, that its no longer hurting her. But how wrong i was. And now there's this certain distance that's there. Truth be told, i know, it'll be hard to close the distance. I don't blame her if she wants that it to remain that way. Well, Evan, if you're reading this, i want to apologise for leaving you out for all those time. (I think, you know what i'm talking abt.) I truly regretted it, for taking a side and leaving the other. It was mean of me =/ Thank you for supporting me throughout all those cold wars. After a while, i'd sworn never never to make such a mistake ever again.

Life recently has been eventful, albiet a little unlucky. 1) my form teacher took my choir file by accident and i had to run from one end of the school to to the other a back, in between lessons just to get it back from her. 2) it rained really heavily during cross country and my shoes got wet... i got back to Clementi only to have the stupid Joo Koon(sp) train delay for at least 10 min. Hehe but i was happy that day~ 3) broke a pipette during my first Chem prac =.= and spilled (diluted) alkali on my pencilbox. If i were in a bad mood, i would be extremely furious. But i was happy, so yeah, they merely made life 'eventful', not 'pissing off'. hahah Choir's been fun but tiring. I feel so free to be singing again =) and i can reach high A again! lalala. The only prob is that i have no one to talk to in choir, apart from my senior -.- And while we're singing, also cannot talk. Hmph =(

I really miss my Crescent friends =( wish i could see them, not talk to them on Msn or the phone. Oh btw, my MSN is screwed - cannot open for some damn reason, so that just gives me less time to talk to them! *angry*

16th February 2011

Happy outside... not really so inside. Its the only way i survive. Emoing everyday in school isn't exactly gonna help one's social life and its not really good for one's emotional health either. What better than to temporarily lock all that uncertainty, fear and unhappiness inside while you're with people? Everyone has their own demons that wreck their emotions. And yet, my character, fine - 'preference' - according to those workshop ppl... i won't or can't share it. The last time i did share, that person launched into a 'cold war attack.' Ahem, not exactly encouraging. Perhaps my preference are very much decided by the people i interact with. Sometimes i wonder if i would have turned out differently if the people around me weren't.. they way they are. Well, there isn't any point in dwelling to much. i just needed somewhere to write sth. Even if it is crap and most/all ppl cannot understand it. Haha

Through singing, i hope to gain the self confidence i need in life. And at the same time, just vent my feelings and frustrations out. No one hears my normal speaking voice - i get dao-ed most of the time, you can say i'm barely noticed. Quiet reserved - the ideal introvet =X But when i sing, people hear me or at least, i can hear myself. lol XD Besides i missed the feeling of hearing a combination of all the sections combining to form a wonderful song, a feeling missing from my general emotions ever since Sec 2 ended. I didn't go to guitar auditions... i'm still wondering if i shld have. haha oops. but i don't really have to worry abt not having a CCA cos i alr have a spot in the choir... (still wondering if i'd missed out by not going to guitar auditions. Oh well =/)

New... everything

Okay, this post is up for a certain someone. Haha you know who you are. Anyway JC has started for abt 3 week alr? Perhaps less. At first i was really nervous. But after the first initial day, the nervousness faded off. I guess it just takes a matter of getting used to all the guys XD and then starting to talk to them. I had to admit, i think i'm taking way longer than a certain someone. Hm oh well, its not like i totally didn't talk to them. hahaha Orientation was super fun at Ac. Haha the campfire followed by a (unexpected) party was... hmm fun. but kinda gross cos like everyone was sweating and you kept bumping into ppl. I loved the OGL's dance so much! haha i wish i could learn it *envious* So i think i want to become an OGL next year! =DDD new target, haha I want to make orientation for the new J1s as fun as my OGLs made it for me. Thanks guys!! =))

The playfulness at Ac is so infectious, you feel like playing along after a while. Haha the uniform is a little weird... i keep thinking that my skirt is too long. We have like chapel on monday mornings. And tmr we go to school late! yay! so happy. We're gonna split of from our OGs into our classes alr next week. =(( quite sad cos i'm only just starting to talk to and get to know everyone.

I'm surprised how fast everything in NJ is moving compared to Ac. Its like they're alr talking abt council while we're still doing briefing for like leadership and stuff and we've only had like 1h + of GP lecture. (not that i'm complaining at the pace, mind you!) We're going to choose our subject combos tmr! haha i've alr decided, and if i can make it, i'll take another H3 in J2. haha everyone was like, you get so low why dun take 4 H2s. hehe thats cos i have another motive!

I'm really confused abt whether i shld join choir...maybe i'll go ask Claudia abt what its like in there. My Gran is pretty opposed, but i still really love to sing =(( ohh today i heard someone go off tune singing the school song during assembly XD My other CCA choices are probably badminton, Acsian theatre or guitar. In the end, 3/4 is still performing arts! i'm super fail. lol who ask me to suck at sports so bad. Ah, and there's really swimming at AC O.o but got gym! maybe when i'm free i shall go try and run on the treadmill~

So far haven't really 'clicked' with anyone. I'm just jumping abt talking to random ppl i sit beside. But its okay, its only a few weeks in. I guess i can't expect to get lucky again like i did in sec 1 ;-) well, i entered Ac with hopes and i'll always try my best here. So dun disappoint me ACS!

9th October 2010

Yesterday was the graduation ceremony for the 2010 batch of students. A great sense of nostalgia, sadness and happiness mixed in together. Nostalgia to have to part like that; 4 years which seemed to long and endless when i was in secondary 1, I had walked through with it. And yesterday i finished, together with so many other people, that phrase of our lives. In Primary school, i wouldn't have thought twice about it. My Primary school meant nothing to me, i didn't mind drifting apart from my best friends then.

4 years ago i walked in, bearing thoughts of meeting various people, and finding friends for life. I sat in a seat at the back of the class, little did i know, next to a girl who is now one of my best friends. I met the most eccentric, the most amusing, the best people to be with, the most irritating ones... D.I.S.C type personalities, Crescent holds them all. (Teachers included)

I've felt the pain of parting, the happiness of reunion. I've found passion for the things i do, and developed my own character with courage i've gained from my friends and family. I'm sure everyone did, although their motive when they entered the school might be somewhat different from mine.

I didn't cry yesterday. But today, everything seems to be suddenly rushing back again. I always have slow reactions. Whether it was when Ms Tham left or when i left the school. Thank you, everyone who played a part in my life, for everything.

My only regret, is that i may end up hating one of my other best friends before i leave. I get this feelings that she's doing particular things on purpose. I cannot forget things that you have done for me, but in the least, let us part (even a little) as friends. But i doubt she'll read this. After all, she's hinting that i'm boring.

1st October 2010

I just want to rant today. I'm suffering from a severe lack of sleep (i think all the sec 4s are) and i'm having a headache now. I just found out from Evan that JYJ is coming to Singapore on 16 October. And i thought that it was alr after my holidays. I also realised, just a few seconds ago, that my Calendar was stil on the September page. My daily sore throat is really starting to bother me. I think it's probably time i stop daily computer usage...

Conclusion: Homework and school is officially draining me.

*Edit: Not holidays, O levels.

4th September 2010

It's September.. halfway through prelims, the holidays have started too. Doesn't feel that way, but i'll enjoy it to the fullest since it's alr here. I'm going to Taiwan after the O levels. Its mostly confirmed already... I just hope i dun get food poisoning again. Things are so uncertain now. At least i can finally enjoy myself in school, better late than never. Except for the constant pressure to study that the teachers put on us. I'm looking forward to the end of school!

I wonder when it comes to friendship and love, who is responsible to maintain it. I think it belongs to both parties to be willing to share and accept each other. When one makes the decision to turn his back on it, it won't be surprising if it collapses. I came to crescent with the hope to make great friends and meet people. I've met some really eccentric people, others are really fun to be with.. People who i can make lame jokes with, be sarcastic with.. I'll really miss these people when i leave Crescent. So no matter how horrible the school experience has become as i grew older, at least i know i can walk away with something.

I've become addicted to tea; any type of tea on earth. Milk tea, lemon tea.. lala i love tea. Hahaha Okay that was random.. Prelims has been tiring. I may be numb to the fact that i'm taking exams but that doesn't mean that it doesn't tire me out. Sitting in that hall, in the same chair for hours on end, staring at the piece of paper that you desperately need to complete and excel in... despite it being a cold room, doesn't bode well for my physical and mental health. So i'm going baking after Os! Anyone wants to join me?! Or dance classes? Jap? Guitar?(that was rhethorical question. But you can answer it if you want. HAHAHA)