16th December 2011

Today was the first day of carolling
I didn't go
Came down with a 39 degree fever
It was as if there were stones tied to my arms and legs when i woke up
And as usual, the most unexpected person(s) cared
It wasn't who i was looking for
But thank you all the same :)

You forgot something that i hoped you wouldn't
Maybe you just forgot, or maybe you just didn't bother to find out
Then why should i have taken the effort in the first place?
So many broken, empty promises
You let me down
And i am gradually losing hope

Thank You

That small act of remembering what i'd told you such a long time ago

It lifted my discouraged spirits right up

31st October 2011

"By the time he let her go and they went out for lunch, her hands were toasty warm, so was her heart"

Sorry i couldn't resist sharing this XD This is the product of excessive hopes and consecutive days cooped up in an ice-cold badminton hall to take exams. Nuff said.

Happy Birthday Zhuo Min.. but i doubt you'll see this haha

Hey, Evangeline: Sometimes people may say/do things that hurt us. We smile and say its okay but deep inside, our hearts are actually crying. Some times people push us away (quite literally), sometimes we're the second choice. We cannot control the decisions that people make but what we can do is to face the pain, i guess. Decide what we are willing to compromise on, what we cannot... and to move on from there. When we meet someone who hurts us, i'm sure that there'll be someone out there to heal too ^^ And i'm really glad you managed to find that person! Stay happy dear! I'll always be there for you =)

PS leave a comment or sth when you see this? XD

17th October 2011

I'm tired. I say it once, i say it again, the exact reason why school is unbearable is because i'm not allowed to get enough sleep before i go to school!

Sigh something rather unexpected today. A friend of mine used his phone to sms a sweet message to me. Yes, it contained the word 'love'. Talk about misleading.. Of course i knew that it wasn't him when i first saw it. I laughed it off in school because i know that you didn't intent to hurt me when you took his phone. He just happened to be beside you. What had hurt was the reminder of the fact that it was impossible between us... At least that's what my common sense and rationality is telling me.

Things aren't exactly going easy.. but i'm pushing on. No matter what happens. I've taken the first step with positive results, i'm not going to turn around and waste it. "Once you hear the 'yes', there is no way you will quit"

I really really don't know how to put up a chatbox T.T

11th October 2011

I just updated my blogskin! Yay! Problem is: i don't know how to put in a chatbox. Sighs Why i'm so bo liao as to go edit my blog? Well its after promos! And i have nothing to do. I have gone out at all.. when i used to go out all the time with my friends after most major exams. I don't know. AC is wonderful, yes i love the sense of bonding there. But at the same time my selfish heart isn't satisfied. Close friends, i have yet to find. Sure i have friends who tease me and laugh with me.. Maybe its because everyone is such an extrovert, everyone enjoys being in such big groups of people. Contrary to that, being with big groups of people isn't my idea of fun, in fact it only made me draw myself further into my heart. I know i have to get used to it; that's the hard truth of life, but i can't bring myself to do it when i'm already feeling down. From prior experiences, going out with big groups of people, i know, will only serve to make me feel worse. I guess i'll have to slowly grow into it.. Sigh and i was so looking forward to a game tmr. And i'm too shy to ask him if we can go throw together T.T

I swear.... we have 3 opportunities every day to interact: in class and during our 2 CCAs. And yet we don't even talk much. Fail la ziyu, fail -.-

Anyways I shall bury myself in books then. Bleh

23rd September 2011

Happy Birthday Evangeline~ I wished you like 3 times alr! hahah

I had a wonderful time this week. Even if i didn't start out well. Its times like this that I fight for in life =) For the first time in a long time, I feel wholly happy! I went out to play in the rain yesterday... (shhh! No one is supposed to know about this, i'll get scolded for sure) for an entire 1h20min But boyy it was fun! haha You're not even sweating, its cooling, bordering on cold actually =/ and the synthetic grass felt pretty good on my feet. Haha, spontaneous actions really can add a whole range of new experiences for us. And we ended up taking jumpshot pictures. Lol i realised that my ankle tan-line is the worse, because i'm originally so fair.. Oops..

I finished my new short story~ I'm super proud of it. Its about frisbee... somehow i managed to link it to.. someone. Hence: ARGHHHHHHH! >:( Sigh anyway i wrote the story to pen down some of my confusion into words anyway. But i'm not going to send this to the publication.. no way in hell. Too obvious alr. HAHA

15th September 2011

4 days into term 4 and i'm already feeling like this.. aiyo.. how arh =( Frankly i don't understand what's going on either. The lack of communication just sucks and once again i'm struck by the hesitancy to reach out. Its amazing how things can change within a few months/weeks, how life can turn your original happiness into a feeling of dismay and disappointment. I'm not depressed.. just not sure how to respond to the odd situation at hand. I'm wary.. I really don't know what's going on. Sigh.. I guess i was asking for it, letting myself step into such a different kind of friendship and environment. I'll make mistakes.. I just hope that I won't hurt anyone in the process =/

I'm being an idiot really.. haha I know things won't work out but i end up wishing for them anyway. Perhaps i should just satisfy myself with the fact that we can throw together during PE and he's actually nice when we're throwing. Extending an invitation and giving me advice etc =X haha my backhand's really improved, now its time to work on my forehand ^^ Anyway so many issues are taking my emotions on a rollercoaster ride... time to get back to work